To be found over at http://www.liveloveandlaugh.co.uk/ :o)
Still under construction.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Getting back into the groove...
We seem to have been rather fumbling along recently, almost like headless chickens not knowing which direction we are taking. There have been so many appointments to attend and meetings to arrange, that many of our days seem to have been disrupted by one thing or another.
Gradually, it's easing now and I feel we are ready to get back into our usual routine.
As a home-educator, I'm often asked what sort of home-edders we are and just what is our daily routine. Such questions always make me reflect on our lifestyle, and I find them a little awkward to answer. I don't really think we fit into any sort of "box". We tend to float between so-called "methods", and and go along with whatever feels right at the time. I do try to let the children lead as much as possible. I much prefer to give them free-reign of the topics they choose and generally just facilitate learning wherever possible. This, for me, includes helping the children to find relevant books, websites, places to visit, maybe craft ideas, and possibly people to question or converse with.
I do find that I have to encourage a little "work" time. If totally left to their own devices, they would prefer to spend the day skipping between the Wii, Playstation and Laptop. This would be ok if occasional, but it would be a daily routine - believe me, I've tried it. I wouldn't mind if the Laptop use was for "education" purposes, but there are only so many occasions that I feel comfortable with Joseph watching various wrestling videos on YouTube, or the girls making various outfits for a fashion website. Both would be fine if mixed with other activities, but they often spend hour after hour on the same sites doing the same thing. I'm sure it deems little educational value in the great scheme that is life.
So, how I do go about planning this "routine". Well, we sit together and discuss things. We talk about the topics the children want to study, the projects they wish to do as individuals and those they wish us to do as a family. These plans are written down, but are subject to change often when a new subject interest is found. Maybe something they see on the television, or read on the internet or in a newspaper, will spark a whole new curiosity.
Our latest planning discussion has led to Chelsea and Tiegan deciding to set up a folder each, which can be added to over time. For Chelsea, the theme is "Famous People, Past and Present". Tiegan has chosen to have an "Animals and Nature" file. Today, Tiegan has been researching hedgehogs, deciding this will be her first entry. Other themes that the children wish to cover (or continue with) include The Cold War (Chelsea), World Wars 1 and 2 (Joseph), Human Body (Tiegan and Chelsea), and Plants (Tiegan). I can always guarantee to be surprised by one of the children and their choices, and this time around it was dear Tiegan. She (with much enthusiasm) declared that she wanted to study Spiders - and in particular the Black Widow Spider. This interest has been sparked by an old book that I bought a few years ago from a charity shop. Tiegan has been reading the book almost daily with great relish, and it has even become her night time reading book during the past week. Children are just fascinating aren't they?
One thing that I always have encouraged in the household is a love of books and reading. We are regular users of our local library, and often request books from further afield when necessary. Our house has many bookshelves in various rooms, and I'm an avid visitor to charity shops. One discovery I have just made is the Oxfam book shop in town and I love it. I find it very hard to resist a visit when we pass. The books are reasonably priced, in excellent condition, and laid out immaculately in subject order. Very handy for browsing, particularly with children in tow :o) I try to make a point of reading to or with the children each day. Each child chooses a chapter book to read, and take turns to read a chapter per day. We also have a family chapter book which I read aloud. Tiegan is still an Enid Blyton addict...
Whilst Chelsea is very much a Twilight fan at the moment...
Joseph has chosen to read Eyetooth, by Frank Rodgers.
One thing that I like about the children being at home is the amount of freedom we have as a family. There were many days during the summer months when we were able to go out and about and enjoy the fresh air and beautiful weather (yes, we did have a few days of sunshine, honest!) I have often thought that childhood should be all about such freedom, and it was only confirmed as I sat watching the children on the beach or on the moors. I adored being a witness to their role-play games, playing chase, or making a new discovery of interest, seeing their smiling faces and listening to their shrieks and giggles. The children didn't have a care in the world during those times, their happiness and love of life just shone through, and it was added reassurance (if any was deemed necessary) that home-education is the right choice for our family unit.
Finishing off with a few random photos...
Still bubble blowing...
Torquay Harbourside...
Love...
Gradually, it's easing now and I feel we are ready to get back into our usual routine.
As a home-educator, I'm often asked what sort of home-edders we are and just what is our daily routine. Such questions always make me reflect on our lifestyle, and I find them a little awkward to answer. I don't really think we fit into any sort of "box". We tend to float between so-called "methods", and and go along with whatever feels right at the time. I do try to let the children lead as much as possible. I much prefer to give them free-reign of the topics they choose and generally just facilitate learning wherever possible. This, for me, includes helping the children to find relevant books, websites, places to visit, maybe craft ideas, and possibly people to question or converse with.
I do find that I have to encourage a little "work" time. If totally left to their own devices, they would prefer to spend the day skipping between the Wii, Playstation and Laptop. This would be ok if occasional, but it would be a daily routine - believe me, I've tried it. I wouldn't mind if the Laptop use was for "education" purposes, but there are only so many occasions that I feel comfortable with Joseph watching various wrestling videos on YouTube, or the girls making various outfits for a fashion website. Both would be fine if mixed with other activities, but they often spend hour after hour on the same sites doing the same thing. I'm sure it deems little educational value in the great scheme that is life.
So, how I do go about planning this "routine". Well, we sit together and discuss things. We talk about the topics the children want to study, the projects they wish to do as individuals and those they wish us to do as a family. These plans are written down, but are subject to change often when a new subject interest is found. Maybe something they see on the television, or read on the internet or in a newspaper, will spark a whole new curiosity.
Our latest planning discussion has led to Chelsea and Tiegan deciding to set up a folder each, which can be added to over time. For Chelsea, the theme is "Famous People, Past and Present". Tiegan has chosen to have an "Animals and Nature" file. Today, Tiegan has been researching hedgehogs, deciding this will be her first entry. Other themes that the children wish to cover (or continue with) include The Cold War (Chelsea), World Wars 1 and 2 (Joseph), Human Body (Tiegan and Chelsea), and Plants (Tiegan). I can always guarantee to be surprised by one of the children and their choices, and this time around it was dear Tiegan. She (with much enthusiasm) declared that she wanted to study Spiders - and in particular the Black Widow Spider. This interest has been sparked by an old book that I bought a few years ago from a charity shop. Tiegan has been reading the book almost daily with great relish, and it has even become her night time reading book during the past week. Children are just fascinating aren't they?
One thing that I always have encouraged in the household is a love of books and reading. We are regular users of our local library, and often request books from further afield when necessary. Our house has many bookshelves in various rooms, and I'm an avid visitor to charity shops. One discovery I have just made is the Oxfam book shop in town and I love it. I find it very hard to resist a visit when we pass. The books are reasonably priced, in excellent condition, and laid out immaculately in subject order. Very handy for browsing, particularly with children in tow :o) I try to make a point of reading to or with the children each day. Each child chooses a chapter book to read, and take turns to read a chapter per day. We also have a family chapter book which I read aloud. Tiegan is still an Enid Blyton addict...
Whilst Chelsea is very much a Twilight fan at the moment...
Joseph has chosen to read Eyetooth, by Frank Rodgers.
One thing that I like about the children being at home is the amount of freedom we have as a family. There were many days during the summer months when we were able to go out and about and enjoy the fresh air and beautiful weather (yes, we did have a few days of sunshine, honest!) I have often thought that childhood should be all about such freedom, and it was only confirmed as I sat watching the children on the beach or on the moors. I adored being a witness to their role-play games, playing chase, or making a new discovery of interest, seeing their smiling faces and listening to their shrieks and giggles. The children didn't have a care in the world during those times, their happiness and love of life just shone through, and it was added reassurance (if any was deemed necessary) that home-education is the right choice for our family unit.
Finishing off with a few random photos...
Still bubble blowing...
Torquay Harbourside...
Love...
Hello...
Postbridge on Dartmoor.
Torquay.
Monday, October 12, 2009
I guess it's time for an update...
I honestly and truly don't know where the time is going. We have been pretty busy going out and about, lots of appointments to keep, visiting to do, general organising to be done, and the days are passing us by as great speed.
I have really developed a passion for photography, and Chelsea seems to have caught the bug too - so the two have us have been trawling the lanes and local area for things to capture with our cameras. I often think that the saying "a picture is a thousand words" is so true, so I'll let the photos do the talking...
(In no particular order...)
We have been to The Ness Beach in Shaldon. To get to it you have to take a stroll through the old Smugglers Tunnel. This photo makes the tunnel look quite eerie, but actually it's well lit :)
Then we went to Decoy Park on the way home :)
On another day, we went to a beautiful part of Dartmoor called Holne. We picnicked, played and paddled - including the dog :)
We went to a "Not back to School" picnic, that was held in Totnes, and blew bubbles :) The children made front page news of the local paper.
Tiegan really enjoyed blowing bubbles and did it all around the town.
We visited Berry Pomeroy Castle at Totnes which is about 20 minutes drive away from here. I loved the photo opportunities that arose there...
We have been to Dawlish and fed the ducks :)
and taken photos of the flowers in my mums garden :)
Added to this trips to the library, lots of reading and discussions, art and crafty type thingys, and basically lots of love sharing - things are going pretty darn well for us right now :)
I have really developed a passion for photography, and Chelsea seems to have caught the bug too - so the two have us have been trawling the lanes and local area for things to capture with our cameras. I often think that the saying "a picture is a thousand words" is so true, so I'll let the photos do the talking...
(In no particular order...)
We have been to The Ness Beach in Shaldon. To get to it you have to take a stroll through the old Smugglers Tunnel. This photo makes the tunnel look quite eerie, but actually it's well lit :)
Then we went to Decoy Park on the way home :)
On another day, we went to a beautiful part of Dartmoor called Holne. We picnicked, played and paddled - including the dog :)
We went to a "Not back to School" picnic, that was held in Totnes, and blew bubbles :) The children made front page news of the local paper.
Tiegan really enjoyed blowing bubbles and did it all around the town.
We visited Berry Pomeroy Castle at Totnes which is about 20 minutes drive away from here. I loved the photo opportunities that arose there...
We have been to Dawlish and fed the ducks :)
and taken photos of the flowers in my mums garden :)
Added to this trips to the library, lots of reading and discussions, art and crafty type thingys, and basically lots of love sharing - things are going pretty darn well for us right now :)
Monday, September 21, 2009
{Out and About}
We have had a pleasant weekend. Saturday was a quiet one, we pottered around in the garden for a while, had a nice (long) walk to the supermarket, took Kira for a run at the park, and just generally spent time together as a family.
On Sunday we went over to visit my parents, set up their webcam for them, took over some photos of the children, and gave them a bag of beans picked from our garden. I think it was the last of the crop, but we have done tremendously well for our first year.
We left my parents and headed over to Haldon for a walk through the woods.
Then we came home and explored the garden for things to photograph. It's amazing how many things we don't see until we *look* for them.
On Sunday we went over to visit my parents, set up their webcam for them, took over some photos of the children, and gave them a bag of beans picked from our garden. I think it was the last of the crop, but we have done tremendously well for our first year.
We left my parents and headed over to Haldon for a walk through the woods.
Then we came home and explored the garden for things to photograph. It's amazing how many things we don't see until we *look* for them.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
{NOT Back to School Picnic}
Today we went along to our local Not Back to School Picnic. The weather turned out to be beautiful. I have to admit that I was pretty nervous going along as I didn't know if I would know anyone there, but it turned out ok. I pretty much forced myself to go as I wanted to offer support to the cause so to speak. Luckily I found there was one (very good) friend there, so stuck by her side all afternoon ;o) It did make me feel a little sad though. The home-education groups were such a huge part of our life at one time, and I was very much involved in them and knew almost everyone that attended. Going along today, I felt like very much an outsider, almost an intruder. That wasn't the fault of the organisers I might add, if I had made the effort I'm sure some kind soul would have taken pity and talked to me lol - but I felt out of my depth and uncomfortable. Need to rebuild my own confidence I guess.
Anyway, we had a lovely day despite all of that. I took some photos, being careful that the pictures didn't identify others children.
More pictures can be seen on my Photography Blog
Anyway, we had a lovely day despite all of that. I took some photos, being careful that the pictures didn't identify others children.
More pictures can be seen on my Photography Blog
Sunday, September 13, 2009
{Our Weekend}
Saturday:
Our Saturday started with a check on the experiment that we started on Friday night. The idea was to put a boiled egg into vinegar and leave for a day to see how the vinegar effected the shell. The children wanted to add more items to the vinegar - which we did, although it did make the experiment less scientific with the contamination issue. I'm guessing they will want to do it again "properly" to compare results. This time though, they added a piece of cheese, a coin, a malteser and a starburst sweet *grin*.
After 12 hours, it looked like this...
We left it so it could sit for the full 24 hours.
Chelsea made porridge (and wondered why I was taking a picture of her in her dressing gown).
Once home again, Chelsea read a chapter of one her library books aloud. She is reading The Spy from the Wreck by Alan MacDonald.
Soon it was lunchtime, and Callum asked if we could go to the park again. The weather was superb again, so it would have been a shame not to.
The park was really busy - and soon the children got talking to the others down there. It is always nice to see "the weird unsocialised home-ed kids" getting along with the "normal schoolies" *grin*. Made it difficult to take pictures though - you have to be so careful not to get other peoples children in the photos nowadays :o/
We came home so Joseph could listen to the football on the computer with his dad. Callum blew bubbles...
whilst watching Dora the Explorer (love the "gormless" expression).
Callum decided to do an Alphabet puzzle alongside his dad, and make a general mess on the floor :o)
The older two wrote their diaries...
Each of the children (and I do!) keep a diary of sorts. For Callum, it is made up of mainly pictures he draws and photographs, with a few sentences thrown in here and there. The other three record their days through handwritten or typed entries, with drawings and photographs. They include any leaflets or tickets, or other souvenirs from their day. I guess it's a scrapbook/diary combo. The children write down their thoughts and feelings, what made them angry or sad, what they enjoyed and what they disliked, plans for the future, etc etc. We keep the diaries in a ringbinder, so things can be added or taken out at will. I often add a little note or letter to the childrens diaries to congratulate them on doing something well, or telling them how proud I am of something they did or just to tell them how much I love them. They don't have to earn it, I just do it randomly 'cos I'm their mum *grin*. They do seem to like receiving something from me in writing though.
We all watched the X-factor auditions together, then checked on the vinegar experiment.
The egg looked like this...
The coin...
The Malteser...
The Starburst had disappeared.
Sunday:
We had a slow start to the morning, just lounging around doing not a lot. I took the dog for a walk with Tiegan with tow, then spent my time replying to emails and checking forums as the children played in the garden.
I decided the day was far too nice to waste, so we went to a car boot sale :o) This one started at a very reasonable 1pm - how nice not to have be up at the crack of dawn to get to it!
It was busy - but good. We picked up a couple of nature books, 2 new Enid Blytons for Tiegan, a football book for Joe, a set of Jacqueline Wilsons for Chelsea and this Dartmoor Board Game.
We bought ice-creams on the way back to the car, but none of us wanted to go home, so came up with the idea to have a picnic on Dartmoor for dinner :oD A quick stop off at the supermarket for supplies, then home to collect the dog, and we set off for the moors. We had the most perfect family day there.
The breathtaking view from the picnic rug.
Me and my pink boots (still love them lots and lots and lots...)
Husband Lee (had to share this one, he is actually smiling!)
Kira, desperate to play...
Callum, dodging the camera.
Nature.
The changing landscape.
Happy.
Our Saturday started with a check on the experiment that we started on Friday night. The idea was to put a boiled egg into vinegar and leave for a day to see how the vinegar effected the shell. The children wanted to add more items to the vinegar - which we did, although it did make the experiment less scientific with the contamination issue. I'm guessing they will want to do it again "properly" to compare results. This time though, they added a piece of cheese, a coin, a malteser and a starburst sweet *grin*.
After 12 hours, it looked like this...
We left it so it could sit for the full 24 hours.
Chelsea made porridge (and wondered why I was taking a picture of her in her dressing gown).
After breakfast, I took Kira for a walk with Tiegan, then I had to nip out into town to pick up a new computer mouse and some stationary. The children did there own thing - namely making use of the laptops, reading, and listening to music.
Once home again, Chelsea read a chapter of one her library books aloud. She is reading The Spy from the Wreck by Alan MacDonald.
Soon it was lunchtime, and Callum asked if we could go to the park again. The weather was superb again, so it would have been a shame not to.
The park was really busy - and soon the children got talking to the others down there. It is always nice to see "the weird unsocialised home-ed kids" getting along with the "normal schoolies" *grin*. Made it difficult to take pictures though - you have to be so careful not to get other peoples children in the photos nowadays :o/
We came home so Joseph could listen to the football on the computer with his dad. Callum blew bubbles...
whilst watching Dora the Explorer (love the "gormless" expression).
Callum decided to do an Alphabet puzzle alongside his dad, and make a general mess on the floor :o)
The older two wrote their diaries...
Each of the children (and I do!) keep a diary of sorts. For Callum, it is made up of mainly pictures he draws and photographs, with a few sentences thrown in here and there. The other three record their days through handwritten or typed entries, with drawings and photographs. They include any leaflets or tickets, or other souvenirs from their day. I guess it's a scrapbook/diary combo. The children write down their thoughts and feelings, what made them angry or sad, what they enjoyed and what they disliked, plans for the future, etc etc. We keep the diaries in a ringbinder, so things can be added or taken out at will. I often add a little note or letter to the childrens diaries to congratulate them on doing something well, or telling them how proud I am of something they did or just to tell them how much I love them. They don't have to earn it, I just do it randomly 'cos I'm their mum *grin*. They do seem to like receiving something from me in writing though.
We all watched the X-factor auditions together, then checked on the vinegar experiment.
The egg looked like this...
The coin...
The Malteser...
The Starburst had disappeared.
Sunday:
We had a slow start to the morning, just lounging around doing not a lot. I took the dog for a walk with Tiegan with tow, then spent my time replying to emails and checking forums as the children played in the garden.
I decided the day was far too nice to waste, so we went to a car boot sale :o) This one started at a very reasonable 1pm - how nice not to have be up at the crack of dawn to get to it!
It was busy - but good. We picked up a couple of nature books, 2 new Enid Blytons for Tiegan, a football book for Joe, a set of Jacqueline Wilsons for Chelsea and this Dartmoor Board Game.
We bought ice-creams on the way back to the car, but none of us wanted to go home, so came up with the idea to have a picnic on Dartmoor for dinner :oD A quick stop off at the supermarket for supplies, then home to collect the dog, and we set off for the moors. We had the most perfect family day there.
The breathtaking view from the picnic rug.
Me and my pink boots (still love them lots and lots and lots...)
Husband Lee (had to share this one, he is actually smiling!)
Kira, desperate to play...
Callum, dodging the camera.
Nature.
The changing landscape.
Happy.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
{Home-Education - Our experience}
Our home-educating adventure began when our youngest son (now 11) was bullied (for want of a better word) in his primary school. He was so young, just 4/5 years old, and it was heartbreaking to see a child change so dramatically. He went from being a happy-go-lucky, confident, always smiling sort of boy, who was the first into the classroom every morning eager to learn - to being incredibly withdrawn, hardly talking to anyone, lacking in self-confidence and with such a sadness in his eyes. At the time he wore glasses and had an eye patch for a lazy eye treatment, and he was receiving speech therapy for speech dyspraxia - thus making him an easy target for the "bullies".
I tried talking to the teachers, and I had numerous appointments with the head mistress of the school where I tried to discuss my concerns. All had noticed a change in his personality, they mentioned how he didn't seem to be so happy and he had gone so quiet in class, but no-one would admit to there being a problem. The teachers were handing over broken glasses to me 2, 3, sometimes 4 times a week, but not questioning how or why it was happening. It didn't make sense to me, and I was exasperated. It got to the point where my son was actually being physically sick on the way to school - enough was enough - he was only just 5 years old.
I started looking elsewhere for help. I spent hours on the internet searching for "Bullying" and "School Phobia", and Education Otherwise kept appearing at the top of the searches. At the time I didn't know that there was a legal alternative to the school system. I thought that all children had to go to school, certainly that's what my mother had always told me when I didn't want to go! I didn't know anyone that home-educated, and it seemed such a huge responsibility to take on. After a great deal of research (and a few more trips to the Opticians to repair broken glasses), I (with my husband) made the decision to de-register our son from school. Initially it was a temporary solution. The plan was to home-educate for a few months and re-build the confidence that our son had lost. However, it worked so well for us. It fitted in with our lifestyle, and we noticed a change in Joseph (for the better) within weeks. We decided to de-register our daughter (then aged 7) and teach her at home as well. Not for the same dramatic reasons as her brother, she certainly wasn't bullied, but we had a few niggles about the system that we had previously tried to ignore. Knowing that we had another option open to us, we didn't have to ignore them any longer.
Home-education works very well for us. We are now a very close family unit, and I feel that the relationship I have with my children is a lot closer than it would be if the children were out at school all day. When we first started out on our home-ed adventure, my husband worked nights. With the children at school, they hardly ever saw their dad. Out of school, they could spend far more time with him, which has benefitted us all. I'm NOT anti-school by any stretch of the imagination. I am well aware that some children absolutely thrive in the school system, and I have always made it clear to my lot that if they ever wanted to go to school I wouldn't try to persuade them otherwise. But, school doesn't suit everyone - just as home-education wouldn't. We should be allowed, without criticism or judgement, to choose what we feel is best for our own families.
When the children first came out of school, we tried the structured, timetabled, "school at home" approach. I wanted to make sure that we fully covered everything they would be taught in school. I got upset and frustrated when our days didn't go to plan, and it wasn't long before I realised (or maybe admitted to myself) that playing at schools wasn't going to work for us. I started to relax. I did a lot of research into how children learn, different learning styles, and different ways of home-educating. I realised that we didn't have to sit at a table from 9am-3pm, reading and writing, for my children to learn things. Instead, they learn in many ways - discussions, from books, the internet, television, places we visit, people we talk to, the clubs and associations we belong to - to coin a home-ed phrase - the world is our classroom.
I now have 4 children. They are aged 13, 11, 7 and 4. The youngest two have never stepped foot in a school. The 7 year old is a huge reader, ravishing book after book. Her favourite author at the moment is Enid Blyton and I'm amazed at her reading ability. I haven't sat with her and "taught" her to read. She naturally started to read as she wanted to. We don't own the reading schemes used in schools, or do worksheets explaining phonics or any other method that might be the latest "thing". My 4 year old is following suit. They have been surrounded by books (our house could be the villages second library!) We have had family reading time most days, where I will sit and read a chapter of a book aloud as the children listen - and then the children will read aloud any book of their choice if they want to. I don't force them, I find that my children learn far more if they are able to follow their own interests. This doesn't mean that I let them play on the Playstation all day, or chat to their friends on MSN for hours on end, but rather that I facilitate their learning. We discuss what projects they want to do, and I do my utmost to come up with interesting ways to study their chosen subject. Currently we are just starting a family project on "The Earth", an interest that was sparked by an Usborne Geography book that I picked up cheaply from a charity shop. Our projects are cross-curricular, encompassing lots of subjects. I envisage lots of related crafts, experiments, as well as the necessary reading and writing.
We often find ourselves the "talk of the town" when out and about. Very often we are stopped and questioned about the children not being at school - and reactions to the home-educated response are mixed. Some people are curious, asking lots of questions and being quite positive about it. Others are very negative, and tell us how they find it disgusting that we are allowed to do it, and how I'm ruining my children's future lives because of it. When I get such remarks I only have to look at my happy, smiling children and I can soon shrug them off. I soon realised that I needed to gain a fairly thick skin though!
Of course, the home-educator lifestyle isn't always rosy. As a mother of 4, I rarely have time to myself, and many people have commented how they couldn't cope with having the children around almost 24/7. I was one of those mums that missed my children and relished the time with them in the 6 weeks holidays, whilst other mums were counting down the days until the schools reopened :o) I learnt a long time ago that my house was never going to be as clean and tidy as I would like it to be (although admittedly, my 3 year old springer spaniel has a lot to do with that!) but it's a sacrifice that I'm willing to make.
To see my children so happy, thriving in this environment, with a real thirst for learning, and so close to each other - as friends - as well as siblings, answers all the doubts that I could ever have.
And my eldest son? The child I have to blame for putting us in this situation *grin* - well he is one happy boy now! His speech is more or less normal, his speech therapist has said many times how the home-education has been a huge aid in his progress. Receiving so much one-to-one time from me is something that would never have happened if we were working around school hours - and I am so proud of him and all he has overcome. He still talks about his time at school, but not with so much anger now.
I can't see our lifestyle changing in the near future, not by choice anyway. It works so well for us all. I am so glad that I looked into things in more depth when Joe was struggling at school. I am very grateful to the local home-educators who talked me through things in the early stages and took me along to the local home-ed group. Suddenly it didn't feel quite so weird to have children out of the system. I am pleased that we don't have to rely on a system that fails so many, but instead can take full responsibility for the childhood and education of our own children.
I tried talking to the teachers, and I had numerous appointments with the head mistress of the school where I tried to discuss my concerns. All had noticed a change in his personality, they mentioned how he didn't seem to be so happy and he had gone so quiet in class, but no-one would admit to there being a problem. The teachers were handing over broken glasses to me 2, 3, sometimes 4 times a week, but not questioning how or why it was happening. It didn't make sense to me, and I was exasperated. It got to the point where my son was actually being physically sick on the way to school - enough was enough - he was only just 5 years old.
I started looking elsewhere for help. I spent hours on the internet searching for "Bullying" and "School Phobia", and Education Otherwise kept appearing at the top of the searches. At the time I didn't know that there was a legal alternative to the school system. I thought that all children had to go to school, certainly that's what my mother had always told me when I didn't want to go! I didn't know anyone that home-educated, and it seemed such a huge responsibility to take on. After a great deal of research (and a few more trips to the Opticians to repair broken glasses), I (with my husband) made the decision to de-register our son from school. Initially it was a temporary solution. The plan was to home-educate for a few months and re-build the confidence that our son had lost. However, it worked so well for us. It fitted in with our lifestyle, and we noticed a change in Joseph (for the better) within weeks. We decided to de-register our daughter (then aged 7) and teach her at home as well. Not for the same dramatic reasons as her brother, she certainly wasn't bullied, but we had a few niggles about the system that we had previously tried to ignore. Knowing that we had another option open to us, we didn't have to ignore them any longer.
Home-education works very well for us. We are now a very close family unit, and I feel that the relationship I have with my children is a lot closer than it would be if the children were out at school all day. When we first started out on our home-ed adventure, my husband worked nights. With the children at school, they hardly ever saw their dad. Out of school, they could spend far more time with him, which has benefitted us all. I'm NOT anti-school by any stretch of the imagination. I am well aware that some children absolutely thrive in the school system, and I have always made it clear to my lot that if they ever wanted to go to school I wouldn't try to persuade them otherwise. But, school doesn't suit everyone - just as home-education wouldn't. We should be allowed, without criticism or judgement, to choose what we feel is best for our own families.
When the children first came out of school, we tried the structured, timetabled, "school at home" approach. I wanted to make sure that we fully covered everything they would be taught in school. I got upset and frustrated when our days didn't go to plan, and it wasn't long before I realised (or maybe admitted to myself) that playing at schools wasn't going to work for us. I started to relax. I did a lot of research into how children learn, different learning styles, and different ways of home-educating. I realised that we didn't have to sit at a table from 9am-3pm, reading and writing, for my children to learn things. Instead, they learn in many ways - discussions, from books, the internet, television, places we visit, people we talk to, the clubs and associations we belong to - to coin a home-ed phrase - the world is our classroom.
I now have 4 children. They are aged 13, 11, 7 and 4. The youngest two have never stepped foot in a school. The 7 year old is a huge reader, ravishing book after book. Her favourite author at the moment is Enid Blyton and I'm amazed at her reading ability. I haven't sat with her and "taught" her to read. She naturally started to read as she wanted to. We don't own the reading schemes used in schools, or do worksheets explaining phonics or any other method that might be the latest "thing". My 4 year old is following suit. They have been surrounded by books (our house could be the villages second library!) We have had family reading time most days, where I will sit and read a chapter of a book aloud as the children listen - and then the children will read aloud any book of their choice if they want to. I don't force them, I find that my children learn far more if they are able to follow their own interests. This doesn't mean that I let them play on the Playstation all day, or chat to their friends on MSN for hours on end, but rather that I facilitate their learning. We discuss what projects they want to do, and I do my utmost to come up with interesting ways to study their chosen subject. Currently we are just starting a family project on "The Earth", an interest that was sparked by an Usborne Geography book that I picked up cheaply from a charity shop. Our projects are cross-curricular, encompassing lots of subjects. I envisage lots of related crafts, experiments, as well as the necessary reading and writing.
We often find ourselves the "talk of the town" when out and about. Very often we are stopped and questioned about the children not being at school - and reactions to the home-educated response are mixed. Some people are curious, asking lots of questions and being quite positive about it. Others are very negative, and tell us how they find it disgusting that we are allowed to do it, and how I'm ruining my children's future lives because of it. When I get such remarks I only have to look at my happy, smiling children and I can soon shrug them off. I soon realised that I needed to gain a fairly thick skin though!
Of course, the home-educator lifestyle isn't always rosy. As a mother of 4, I rarely have time to myself, and many people have commented how they couldn't cope with having the children around almost 24/7. I was one of those mums that missed my children and relished the time with them in the 6 weeks holidays, whilst other mums were counting down the days until the schools reopened :o) I learnt a long time ago that my house was never going to be as clean and tidy as I would like it to be (although admittedly, my 3 year old springer spaniel has a lot to do with that!) but it's a sacrifice that I'm willing to make.
To see my children so happy, thriving in this environment, with a real thirst for learning, and so close to each other - as friends - as well as siblings, answers all the doubts that I could ever have.
And my eldest son? The child I have to blame for putting us in this situation *grin* - well he is one happy boy now! His speech is more or less normal, his speech therapist has said many times how the home-education has been a huge aid in his progress. Receiving so much one-to-one time from me is something that would never have happened if we were working around school hours - and I am so proud of him and all he has overcome. He still talks about his time at school, but not with so much anger now.
I can't see our lifestyle changing in the near future, not by choice anyway. It works so well for us all. I am so glad that I looked into things in more depth when Joe was struggling at school. I am very grateful to the local home-educators who talked me through things in the early stages and took me along to the local home-ed group. Suddenly it didn't feel quite so weird to have children out of the system. I am pleased that we don't have to rely on a system that fails so many, but instead can take full responsibility for the childhood and education of our own children.
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